Stikine's Passing

Dear Friends,

Stikine had declined noticeably over the past week.  She was becoming incontinent, and her breathing was ragged and labored.  This morning, she couldn't move her bowels, after a long night of very rough breathing.  For the very first (and last) time that I can recall, she refused food.  Kathy visited her at my request, and told me, "I think it's time."  We called Sheila, and Sheila promptly came over and administered a merciful drug while I held Stikine on our couch.  Kathy was there, also.  I had not even attempted to picture what this would be like;  it was a very sorrowful thing, indeed.  Stikine is another little piece of Annie that is now past.  She even reminded me of Ann in various ways, small, cute, with curly dark hair, indomitable, and (though this part will sound ludicrous) a female.  She has been my most constant significant other for the past 8 months, a little feminine presence, albeit not human, that would greet me every time I came home.

And of course, she was really Annie's little comfort dog.  She and Ann loved each other after the manner of their respective species.  Stikine had traveled to the Boundary Waters with us, and had walked many of the trails and roads outside of Vernal.

Her death was very peaceful, and quick.  I cannot imagine a more skillful and compassionate vet than Sheila, to whom I will always be grateful.  Kathy and I wrapped her in the slipcover from one of Stikine's dog cushions, one with the "paws" symbol all over it.  Then we dug a hole in the backyard, next to Ann's other animal companions, and buried her. 

Of course, it will be more lonesome without her.  But I doubt, for the present at least, that I will even think about finding another dog.  As great as they are at giving you unconditional love, I have seen enough of the dog people to know how dedicated and knowledgeable you need to be to raise a dog up well.  At this time, my energies are so scattered that it would not be smart  or fair to the dog (though of course I can revisit the idea some time in the future.)  So, for the time being, I'm going to have to get my canine "fixes" from Cedar, Skolai, and Kelly, as well as Kelty, Nika, Snickers, and the rest of the bunch of hounds that Ann's friends have.

So now, the three cats Kodiak, Chitina, and Yakutat will have to start pulling their emotional weight around here....I have gained ground at being a good cat person, and Yakutat in particular seeks me out for extensive petting sometimes.  Kodiak ("the Li'l Bastard") is still very people oriented, like most cats in my experience, he seeks you out to get his feline emotional needs met.  And that's okay, that's what makes the world go around, cats and dogs, men and women, students and teachers, Democrats and Republicans.

I wish a peaceful and satisfying Thanksgiving to you all.

Love,

Tom